As I sat at the candlelit table, I thought about the love, work, tears and laughter that go into marriage. Then my thoughts drifted back towards the best piece of advice I had read last year.
It was so easy, it almost seemed absurd that I even had to tell it. But I did.
The secret to a happy marriage is surprisingly simple
“Assume the best for your spouse.” You’re right, of course. This is what I thought as I read Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Married Couples. It seems obvious that “assuming the best” is a shocking secret. It was something I struggled with for a long time, but I started to think about it more in real life.
In healthy relationships, husbands and wives don’t intentionally hurt or offend one another. However, as in any relationship, there are bound to be miscommunications and hurt feelings.
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Joshua is my faithful friend. It is evident in his actions in so many ways. It is not always easy to imagine the worst.
Joshua is still not home at 7:00. He was supposed to be back home by now, I thought. After all, it’s Friday night. I should have known! He clearly doesn’t care about me or the children.
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As much as I want him assume the best about me when a ten-minute errand becomes an hour, or when I leave every suit I own at the dry cleaners without picking them up before he leaves town for business (true tale- my goodness! He should also think the best of me.
- Poor guy! It must have happened at the last moment. He is probably more stressed than usual and wants to return home.
- Instead of putting up hurt feelings, I choose to accept the best and have a love-filled attitude towards him.
This is the kind of love that “believes in all things and hopes for all things.”
Different thinking styles are used by men and women. Different ways of processing information. Communicate differently.
This can lead to miscommunications. It can also be a wonderful way to show God’s love and assume the best. It is amazing that 99 percent of the time when I assume the best, it is actually correct.
Always try to be the best for your spouse
Although I still make a lot of mistakes, when I try to be positive and accept the best, I feel much happier. My marriage is happier and my home is happier.
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This advice is for healthy relationships where husband and wife treat one another with respect and love. Strong outside support is needed to protect innocent spouses in abusive or unfaithful marriages.